Kintsugi: The Golden Path to Self-Improvement
Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese philosophy that encourages people to reflect on their hardships and grow into a better version of themselves. It is based on the traditional Japanese practice of repairing broken pottery with resin and dusting it with gold. Pots repaired with resin and dusted with gold hold more significance than when they were in their original state.
This ancient practice, Kintsugi, is more than just a way of fixing things. It embodies a philosophy of viewing brokenness not as the end, but as the start of something more beautiful. When broken pottery is mended with resin, it slightly expands. This could be viewed as personal growth from learning from a challenging experience. These cracks also allow us to tell a story of how we have evolved, and this evolved self is much more beautiful than its original form. But this story can only be meaningful if we take the opportunity to expand and improve ourselves rather than lie broken.
For those of us in the medical field, parents, and children on their journey of growth, it provides a powerful metaphor for healing, learning, and change.
The Medical Professional’s Journey
In medicine, we are trained to pursue excellence and to become adaptable and resilient. However, the journey is demanding. The long hours, emotional toll, and constant pressure to perform can all become overwhelming. We face numerous challenges, many of which we can overcome, but some may lead us to question our very expertise.
For example, trainees must pass the specialist exam to progress towards independent practice. Those who, unfortunately, are unable to pass this exam on their first attempts may feel disheartened and doubt their abilities and expertise. These moments can seem like cracks in their professional identity. However, Kintsugi teaches us that these cracks are not failures—they are opportunities to reflect, learn, and grow.
Deep reflection involves asking questions like, Was there a better technique? Could I have prepared differently for the exam? What additional resources should I access to ensure success? This reflection can uncover strategies such as getting more practice and feedback from senior consultants, taking leadership courses, and more. These solutions to the highly reflective questions don’t just fix immediate issues—they help us develop our skills over the long term. They turn a challenging experience into valuable wisdom.
Furthermore, sharing these valuable strategies with future trainees sitting exams to help them prepare better for similar challenges enables us to give back to the community. Each challenging experience then becomes a step towards mastery and making a difference because every setback offers an opportunity for growth and transformation toward a higher purpose.
For parents
Parenting, too, is filled with moments of feeling “not enough.” When your child struggles, when your strategies don’t work, when exhaustion clouds your judgment—it’s easy to feel broken. But here again, Kintsugi offers a path.
Instead of hiding the imperfections, we can reflect: What’s not working? What does my child need? What can I learn from this moment? How can I engage better? What can I do differently next time? This reflective stance doesn’t just repair—it expands. It deepens your understanding of your child, strengthens your bond, and builds your confidence as a parent.
Children: Building Resilience Through Reflection
Children, too, experience brokenness—though it often looks different. A failed test. A lost friendship. A moment of rejection. These experiences can leave them feeling inadequate and unsure of their worth.
But when we teach children to reflect—asking what happened, what they can learn, and how they can grow from the experience—we give them the essential tools for self-development. We help them see that their struggles are not signs of weakness, but opportunities to become stronger and wiser.
This is where community comes in. As Parents, educators, and caregivers, we can help children gather their broken pieces and guide them in filling the cracks with gold —not by fixing everything for them, but by walking beside them as they learn to mend themselves.
Whether you’re a doctor, a parent, or a child, the message is the same: You are not broken beyond repair. Your cracks are not flaws—they are features. Kintsugi reminds us that healing is not about returning to who we were—it’s about becoming someone new and transformed for the better.
So the next time you feel broken—pause. Reflect. Ask what the crack is trying to teach you. And then, slowly, begin the process of mending. Because in the end, it’s not about hiding the scars.
It’s about letting them shine.
Your Golden Seams
Write down one “crack” you’ve experienced recently, personal or professional.
Now ask yourself:
- What did I learn?
- How did I grow from the experience?
- How did the experience transform you?
For Medical Professionals
- Think of a recent time when you felt you “missed the mark”—a failed procedure, a tough interaction, or a moment of doubt.
→ What did that experience teach you? What gold have you found in that crack? - How do you typically respond to professional setbacks?
→ Do you retreat, ruminate, or reflect? What would it look like to use that moment to expand your skillset or deepen your understanding?
For Parents
- Recall a parenting moment that left you feeling inadequate or overwhelmed.
→ What was the unmet need—yours or your child’s? What insight can you carry forward from that experience? - How do you model resilience and reflection for your child?
→ Can you share your own “cracks” with them in a way that helps them see growth as a lifelong process?
For Children and Young People (or those guiding them)
- When your child feels “not good enough,” how do you respond?
→ Do you rush to fix, or do you guide them to reflect and rebuild? - What practices can you introduce to help children see mistakes as opportunities?
→ Journaling? Storytelling? Conversations about what went wrong and what could be done differently next time?
Disclaimer: This article serves as a template for coaching conversations with professionals, families, and young people, intended for in-depth reflection. It is not a substitute for professional advice from a coach or healthcare professional. The topics discussed may not apply to all situations. The article is only for informational purposes and is general in nature.