Focusing on Values, Not Just Goals
Focusing on Values, Not Just Goals
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail- Benjamin Franklin
While setting goals is vital for managing behavioural conditions—providing direction, structure, and measurable outcomes—it’s just as important to anchor these goals in a child’s core values. Goals are the “what”; values are the “why.” Without a meaningful “why,” goals risk becoming mechanical tasks that may lose relevance or motivation over time.
Values are the guiding principles that provide direction and meaning in life. They reflect what truly matters—kindness, curiosity, persistence, connection, or learning. Goals aligned with these deeper values become more than mere milestones; they transform into expressions of identity and purpose. This alignment fosters intrinsic motivation, resilience, and a sense of fulfilment, even in the face of slow progress or setbacks.
For example, a goal like “reducing classroom disruptions” can feel punitive or externally imposed unless it is linked to a value, such as respect for others or creating a calm learning environment. Reframing it in this manner allows the child to be part of a journey they can believe in, rather than just a problem to be solved.
Additionally, children and families benefit from regular “preview” discussions—reflective moments to check how their actions align with their values. These conversations help children learn that success isn’t just about ticking off goals, but about living in a way that feels right.
The video by Dr. Russ Harris powerfully illustrates this concept, distinguishing between goals that focus on achievement and values that focus on enjoying the journey to the goal, regardless of its ups and downs. Even if we face detours or don’t reach the destination immediately, persevering in the right direction, true to our values, will bring meaning and growth.
This values-based approach builds a stronger emotional foundation for change in behavioural conditions. It shifts the focus from “fixing a behaviour” to “supporting a child’s growth into the person they want to be. There should be a combination of goals and values that effectively prepare children for success in life.
Suggested resources
Value versus goals by Dr Russ Harris. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lRbuy4XtA