Focusing on Values, Not Just Goals
While setting goals is vital to managing behavioral conditions—offering direction, structure, and measurable outcomes—it’s equally important to ground these goals in a child’s core values. Goals are the “what”; values are the “why.” Without a meaningful “why,” goals risk becoming mechanical tasks that may lose relevance or motivation over time.
Values are the guiding principles that give life direction and meaning. They reflect what truly matters—kindness, curiosity, persistence, connection, or learning. Goals aligned with these deeper values become more than milestones—they become expressions of identity and purpose. This alignment fosters intrinsic motivation, resilience, and a sense of fulfilment, even when slow progress or setbacks occur.
For example, a goal like “reducing classroom disruptions” can feel punitive or externally imposed unless linked to a value like respect for others or creating a calm space to learn. Reframing it this way makes the child part of a journey they can believe in, not just a problem to be fixed.
Additionally, children and families benefit from regular “preview” discussions—reflective moments to check how their actions align with their values. These conversations help children learn that success isn’t just about ticking off goals, but about living in a way that feels right.
The video by Dr. Russ Harris powerfully illustrates this concept, distinguishing between goals that focus on achievement and values that focus on enjoying the journey to the goal, regardless of its ups and downs. Even if we face detours or don’t reach the destination immediately, persevering in the right direction, true to our values, will bring meaning and growth.
This values-based approach builds a stronger emotional foundation for change in behavioural conditions. It shifts the focus from “fixing a behaviour” to “supporting a child’s growth into the person they want to be.”
Suggested resources
Value versus goals by Dr Russ Harris. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lRbuy4XtA