Bullying at School: What Parents Can Do to Help Their Child and the School
Bullying continues to be a serious problem in many schools today. If your child is being bullied or is the one bullying others, you might feel confused, worried, or even angry. You may have spoken to the school and feel like nothing is changing. You’re not alone. Many parents share these feelings. Whether your child is the victim, the bully, or even both at times, there are ways you can help.
What Is Bullying?
Bullying is more than just kids being mean sometimes. It’s when a child keeps hurting another child on purpose—by words, actions, or even by leaving them out. It often happens again and again, and the child being bullied feels powerless to stop it.
Bullying can be:
- Physical – hitting, pushing, or taking things.
- Verbal – name-calling, threats, or teasing.
- Social – excluding someone, spreading rumours, or embarrassing them.
- Online (cyberbullying) – sending hurtful messages or sharing private information on social media. This is probably the most important form of bullying in the current era.
If Your Child Is Being Bullied
It can be heartbreaking to hear that your child is being bullied. You might feel angry or helpless. Here are some steps that can help:
- Listen Without Judgment
Let your child speak. Don’t interrupt or try to fix it straight away. Say things like, “I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m here to help.”
- Keep a Record
Ask your child what happened, when, where, and who was involved. Please write it down. This will help when you speak to the school.
- Talk to the School
Ask for a meeting with the teacher, year coordinator, or principal. Stay calm and focus on the facts. Bring your notes. Ask what steps the school will take to protect your child.
- Build Confidence at Home
Children who are bullied often feel worthless. Praise your child. Help them do things they enjoy and are good at—like sport, art, or helping at home.
- Teach Assertiveness (Not Aggression)
Teach your child to say things like, “Please stop. I don’t like that,” and to walk away. Help them know who to talk to at school if it happens again. Undertaking training in assertiveness would provide children with tools to deal with similar situations in the future. There are also life coaches and psychologists who can assist with developing this skill.
If Your Child Is Bullying Others
It can be shocking to hear that your child has been unkind or aggressive to others. You may feel ashamed, embarrassed, or defensive. But remember—your child needs your help to change, not punishment alone.
- Don’t Deny or Excuse It
Avoid saying things like, “My child would never do that.” Instead, say, “I want to understand what happened and help fix it.”
- Try to Understand Why
Some children bully because they feel insecure, angry, left out, or have trouble managing their emotions. Others may copy what they see at home, online, or from friends.
- Set Clear Limits
Let your child know that bullying is not OK and will not be tolerated. Be clear about what kind of behaviour is expected and what the consequences are.
- Teach Empathy
Ask your child how they think the other child felt. Watch a movie or read a story about kindness and talk about how people feel when they’re hurt.
- Work With the School
Ask the school what support is available. Some schools offer programs or counselling to help children learn better ways to relate to others.
If the School Is Struggling to Help
Sometimes it feels like the school isn’t doing enough—or doesn’t know how to help. Here’s what you can do:
- Stay Calm and Involved
Schools are more likely to respond when parents stay involved and respectful. Keep regular contact with teachers or school leaders. Ask for updates and document what they say.
- Ask for a Safety Plan
If your child is being bullied, ask the school to implement a plan—this might include supervision, support staff check-ins, or class changes.
- Talk to Other Parents
You’re likely not the only one concerned. Talking to other parents can help you feel supported and bring issues to the school’s attention together.
- Go Up the Chain if Needed
If things don’t improve, speak to the school district, education department, or school board. You can also ask for help from your area’s child safety or youth support services.
Final Thoughts: Bullying Can Be Stopped
Bullying isn’t just a “normal part of growing up.” It causes deep emotional wounds. But with love, patience, and teamwork between home and school, we can stop it.
Whether your child is being bullied or bullying others, they need your help—not just discipline, but understanding and guidance. You don’t have to do it alone. Support exists, and your small actions can make a big difference in your child’s life.
Bullying indicates low self-esteem in children, and children who bully are often fearful. Therefore, addressing the underlying issues and reframing the situation is more important than focusing only on surface-level solutions. Deep feelings are involved and need attention. Showing kindness and understanding is crucial. This does not mean bullying is acceptable. In addition to school measures to prevent bullying, it is also essential to identify its root causes and support parents in managing the situation. Seeking professional help can be beneficial.
Disclaimer: These are some general frameworks on the topic of bullying. Getting specialist psychology support and other school-based support is vital to helping address bullying. The content of the article does not replace any specialist advice.